Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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