youre lurking in front of me
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize