Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
