3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
why didn't you poke me back
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
This is my gift to your gina
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
