Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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