Your tits are I can't wait for
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
