FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
