9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
