Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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