he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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