Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
