if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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