If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
