Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
