Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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