just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
