so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Is it because I queefed?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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