It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
