Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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