4 words: hood of his car
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
