She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
