omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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