I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
