So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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