I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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