I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
