A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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