we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
