he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
