im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
