i was rollin on her like bob the builder
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
