birth control should be required to get into college
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
