I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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