i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He felt like a one man threesome
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
