the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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