I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize