the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
