Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
