Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Just fell off a train. Bad.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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