Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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