So drunk, too bad you don't want this
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
