I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
