Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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