Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
