The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
