stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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