I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize