Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
