today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
