I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
