Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
