Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize