Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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