Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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