Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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