i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
