I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
