dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
